My fantastic rainy Monday started at 3 a.m. with a stomach flu. Glued to the toilet, I heard the baby crying, ready to eat. 'Is it possible to nurse an infant while it's coming out both ends?' As a mom, multitasking is essential, but I'm not sure that's even physically possible.
'Hmm. She won't take a bottle...I try not to wake Dave up at night since he's teaching early-morning seminary now (he wakes up at 5 a.m.).' "Dave! Sorry to wake you up. But, I'm kind of in need of some backup tonight. Can you give the baby a binky till I've puked the last 12 pounds of my baby weight off?"
I quickly go through my day's agenda in my head. 'It looks like my workout regime isn't going to happen in the morning like promised. What a surprise. Does throwing up count as exercise? Aubrie's dentist appointment is the only thing that MUST happen. How long is it going to be until I'm cleaning up the kids' bodily fluids when they get this fabulous virus? Oh boy. I've got Joy.'
....
Later at the dentist I chronicled a new rule: "Take the bouncy ball prize away from your kids before entering the restroom." I stared down at the toilet weighing my options as Ellie cried her eyes out. Ellie started yelling for the whole dentist office to hear, "MY BALL WENT IN THE TOILET!!!!" I guess there's no chance of pretending it didn't happen. I realized I had no choice but to roll up my sleeve and get to know the inner-workings of the commode. I think that's the first time my elbow's gone swimming in toilet water.
Ahh. It's only 1 p.m. I wish I could go to bed and not wake up till Friday. Where's my fairy godmother when I need her? Oh, gotta go change my clothes. The third baby spitup on my entire wardrobe is warranting a change. I'm soaking wet. Mmm. And I'm smelling stinky diaper...
....
Later at the dentist I chronicled a new rule: "Take the bouncy ball prize away from your kids before entering the restroom." I stared down at the toilet weighing my options as Ellie cried her eyes out. Ellie started yelling for the whole dentist office to hear, "MY BALL WENT IN THE TOILET!!!!" I guess there's no chance of pretending it didn't happen. I realized I had no choice but to roll up my sleeve and get to know the inner-workings of the commode. I think that's the first time my elbow's gone swimming in toilet water.
Ahh. It's only 1 p.m. I wish I could go to bed and not wake up till Friday. Where's my fairy godmother when I need her? Oh, gotta go change my clothes. The third baby spitup on my entire wardrobe is warranting a change. I'm soaking wet. Mmm. And I'm smelling stinky diaper...
4 comments:
Dang it, Jeni. I'm so sorry to hear about you being sick, and the all too intimate encounter you had with the toilet at the dentist's office, stinky diapers, vomitting episodes, etc. When it rains, it pours ... I hope today is better. Motherhood is so grand, isnt it?
Tomorrow will be a better day! I promise!
That sounds like quite the day. I hope that ball got washed well. Part of me can't help but wonder if it would have flushed though...?
you are a better mom than i am! i would have flushed it! i hope you are feeling better. . .sorry i'm typing with one hand!
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