While walking out of Target today, I was pushing the cart with the baby in her carseat and trying to hold Ellie's hand so she wouldn't get hit by the cars. Aubrie was trying to hold Ellie's hand but she was refusing and causing a scene. We made it across the street and the lady who was stopped at the stopsign rolled down her window and yelled "You are SO busy!" I turned around with a fake half smile and somehow made it to my car without further issues.
I've been thinking about this statement all day. What exactly did she mean by that? Was she patronizing me because I had spent an hour at Target doing nothing more than shopping the red sticker sales? Was she trying to be sympathetic? I've received a billion and a quarter "you have your hands full!" Was it her way of saying the same? Perhaps she was meaning I've been busy in the bedroom?
Whatever she was trying to say, her comment truly was icing on the cake for a moment when I was feeling overwhelmed with my children. Why would she make the effort to shout out her window something that really didn't make me feel better?
Have any of you received 'helpful' comments in your adventures with your kids?
Last week on our flight home, Dave was helping our niece get on her flight so I had to go through security and board our three kids on the plane by myself. Now that was an adventure! I was juggling 3 kids (one, who of course can't walk), 2 carseats, 2 bags and a stroller! Then, to make matters worse, the gate agent handed me four tickets that were totally scattered across the plane and said "the flight's completely booked, I guess you'll have to figure it out when you board."
I decided to just sit down in a seat on the plane and ask people to take one of my random seats that I had been assigned. One of them was a first class ticket. The first lady to come saw me sitting in her seat and said "what seat are you supposed to be in?" I explained and offered her the first class ticket. (Audible sigh), "Now I have to walk all the way back to the front of the plane."
I wish I could have replied, "that's OK, I'll walk up there and sit, and you stay in this middle seat and take care of my three kids!"
4 comments:
First, let me say that you are a SAINT for letting Dave go help someone else board the plane.
Now for an answer to your question. One of my visiting teachers KILLS me with her comments EVERY time she comes to visit. "Is Goose always this crazy?" or some variation of that theme. As if I'm not embarrassed enough without her bringing it up. Then she recounts every thing Goose did wrong during our last visit (talk during the lesson, not share her favorite toy, etc -- all VERY normal things for a two-year-old.) I have a hard time getting geared up for her to come over because it's always such a downer!
I completely understand--I flew to Canada alone with my three and after that I vowed NEVER to fly alone with the kids again. I have driven the past three times I went to Canada (believe it or not it is easier--you have complete control).
I love it when people comment on how "busy" I am or how I "have my hands full" because it makes me proud of what I can handle as a mom. Somehow I am proud of the fact I can drive 16 hours in the car with three little kids or sit through three hours of church or go shopping etc. I think most people look at mom's with lots of kids and think "how do they do it?!" and in my mind it means "you are amazing"!
Jeni – I can relate sort of(my story doesn't involve the trials of juggling children - not yet)!
Just this last Saturday Scott and I were walking out of Lowe’s after a successful session of picking out new blinds for our home. Just as we were leaving the check out line I noticed over my shoulder, the Lowe’s employee, who was ringing people up in the next check out line besides the one we were just at, beckoning for someone’s attention in my direction (as if someone from his line had forgot something). It appeared to me that he was pointing to the man walking next to me that was exiting the store doors. I, without much effort, turned to the man and said, “I think you forgot something”, pointing back at the man at the register. However, just as I finished my statement to my new friend, the cash register attendant who I thought was pointing for this gentleman just seconds ago was already speaking with someone else. Clearly the man beside me had not left anything at the register as I had thought. Subsequent to learning this, (keeping in mind the whole event probably took about 5 seconds to transpire) the man turned to me and said, "You should mind your own business!”. When Scott asked what he said, I repeated it, and I then asked if he thought the man was joking. I couldn't imagine he was seriously disgusted by my effort to help him. As I got into the car I felt deflated and silenced, but my thoughts were loud trying to figure out if this man was really burdened and critical in my attempt to help him. In my moment of pondering I realized that man was about to ruin my day! Just about that same time, I realized that if a total stranger with an ugly attitude could transform my day, I, being the owner of my thoughts (with God's grace) could transform the outcome as well! "What I have forgiven...has been for your sakes...to keep Satan from getting the advantage over us; for we should not be ignorant of his wiles and intentions." - 2 Corinthians 2:10-11
With all that said, I think you misunderstood her Jeni...I don't think she said, 'You're so busy', I think she said, 'You are so blessed!" At least that is how God wanted you to interpret it! :)
With much love - Liza S.
Jeni, You're singin my song, sister! Yes, I know I've got my hands full. Tell me something I don't know.
I know EXACTLY what you mean. When I am the recipient of comments that are just plain annoying (no matter how innocent or not), it makes me vow that I will NEVER say silly things like that in the future when I see a mom with young kids struggling in public.
Here are the alternatives that I'm going to execute:
1. Help
2. Smile and give a kind look
3. Say, "Your kids are so cute."
4. Say, "You're a great mom."
5. Say, "I can see that family is so important to you. Good for you!"
6. Offer to buy them dinner.
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